The Worst/hardest thing in life is knowing you are the cause of your kids’ pain. There is no dispute on this if you ask me.
Being the reason your kids are crying is like taking a full knife to your chest trying to cut out your heart. It is awful. It is painfull for everyone involved. It is the absolute worst feeling you could possibly have. It fucking sucks.
Tonight I had to tell my kids that their mom and dad are not going to be married anymore and it completely broke my heart. I knew it wouldn’t be easy but it was a billion times harder than I would have thought it would have been, and I expected the worst….
To see my babies cry was awful. Knowing it was me (and their mom) made it even worse. I hate when my babies are sick or sad or in any kind of pain. It is the hard for me to feel helpless. I was helpless in this situation too but I still feel like shit.
They are innocent. They didn’t have anything to do with this. They are my world. They have been the only thing I have been able to think about since all this started. And yet I couldn’t help them. I couldn’t make it better. I know it’s not my fault but it still hurts. It cuts so deep.
I just want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep. I think I’ll drink for a bit instead.
You possess the kiss of death
But you smell alone gives life.
Your lips are as red as the blood that runs through me
And your thorns are so sharp they go right through me
You come to me in the spring
Yet seem to die in the winter.
Then come back so vibrant in the summer.
One of you is not enough
I need at least a slew
To give to my special someone
So I can simply say “I love you”
In the darkness that consumes me a little light appears.
I’m not sure where the light is coming from
I haven’t seen it in years.
I’m lost, but found
If only for a moment.
The light is so bright
There must be an end in sight.
The universe is swirling
Like in the eye of a storm.
The sea has rough waters.
From the very day we are born.
“In the eye of the beholder” is a saying they say
Until they see the other side
And they will have to pay.
But the light is getting stronger
I just can’t see it yet.
One day it’ll shine bright
And my soul will be out of debt.
I would like to welcome myself to the blog community. I have been wanting to write a blog for me for a long time. I finally did it. And I am very proud of myself for doing so too.
This blog is for me. If you like it, great. If not, I honestly don’t give a shit. This is a place where my thoughts are going to go on any topic that comes to mind. Whether it be sports, life, movies, music, friends (or lack there of), and anything else that I can think of. If you follow me on Twitter (@theirishkid23) and you like what I say, then you will probably like this blog.
I have a feeling that a lot of truths will be spilled out on here. A lot of feelings a emotions. This is what I feel I need to do to keep my thoughts in line. If you don’t know me personally, I am an Irishman through and through. I feel like this will not have to be as censored as Facebook (which I hate being on) and even Twitter. It will be vulgar and magnificent.
Hope you all enjoy!