Alone In Defeat

For those of you who don’t know, over the last 11 months, I have become extremely involved in my local VFW. It is an orginization that I feel very passionate about and believe in. I also know that it is hurting for members. The biggest issue with any Veteran orginztion is that it is led by the “old men” (meaning Vietnam/Korean Vets). 11 months ago, I set out to change that.

2 months ago, I was approached by a group of people that wanted me to take over as Sr. Vice Commander. This person is 2nd in charge of the Post but his/her main responsability is bringing in new members. It wasn’t a knock on the current SVC but this is the reason I made the decision the become more active. The VFW needed more Iraq/Afgan Veterans to be more active in this orginization. I am the youngest (active) memeber and the roll fit perfectly. I gladly accepted.

Tonight was election night. I thought that the group that approached me had “stacked” the room in my favor and some good changes could be made. I lost the by majority vote. It was also the only position that needed a “ballot” to vote for.

I am crushed.

The only thing that makes this loss hurt more is I have no one to “share” it with. The one person I wanted to call/talk to about this doesn’t want to be close to me. The one person I want to cry to about having to wait (at least) another year doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.

I feel so alone right now. I feel like I have no one anymore. I feel like even if I had won, I would feel the same way because I would. This moment in my life means nothing because I don’t have the a person to share it with and that hurts the most.

I guess I’ll have to learn to accept that this is the way it is and find a way to deal with these situations by myself. This is not the way I invisioned this to happen in my life.