I Shoulda Grown Up in the 50s

Goodfellas (1990) Poster

I always hear people say, “I’m an 80s (gender) at heart.” or “I should’ve been born 10 years earlier.”

Well, I’m gonna give you 2 reasons why I wish I would’ve grown up/lived in the 50s.

“As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.” – Henry Hill (Played by Ray Liotta in Goodfellas)

That line is 100% true for me as well.  The problem is, it’ll never happen.  It is a dream that I cannot make come true (thanks for lying to me MOM!) (just kidding.  I love you mom!)

When someone asks me what my dream job is/was/would be, most people are surprised that I don’t say “Professional Football player”.  It sometimes shocks me too, but at the end of the day, all I would want to do would be a gangster.  And I’m not talking about some rap “gangster” peddling drugs on the street.  I’m talking about mobbed up, do what the fuck I want, when I want, and have all the glory that is portrayed in The Godfather, Goodfellas, and The Sopranos.

The crime doesn’t bother me really and having to look over my shoulder every 5 min?  I kinda do that most of the time anyways because I’m like a paranoid schizophrenic sometimes.  I want the cheat codes to life just like they had.  The power and money.  All of it.

Now that I’m done talking about the greed that comes along with being in the mafia, I’ll explain the reason for this post.

I feel like I’m old school.  If you get into an argument with someone, you fight it out…. literally.  The world today is too soft and it really bothers me.  Why can’t we slug it out, settle our differences and have a beer?  Why do we have to run to the boss and cry “he hurt my feelings!!!  Make him do it my way or I’m gonna cry some more.”  Then the boss gives in because he doesn’t want to ruffle feathers and then the job either gets fucked up more or harder for everyone to do.

It is taking every ounce of energy that I have to NOT find a wrench to throw and certain people today.

Only a few more hours until I get to go on my unpaid holiday…. wish me luck.

Why The Skepticism?

As the winter blockbuster movie season begins, we are beginning to see trailers for the upcoming summer blockbuster season.  Trailers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier have already emerged (and it looks completely bad ass) and reports are that a teaser trailer for The Amazing Spiderman 2 will hit (probably) YouTube on December 5th, with the full length trailer previewing The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.

If you know me at all, you know that I am a Spiderman NUT.  He has been my favorite superhero for as long as I can remember and I look up to him the same today as a 5 year old would.

Needless to say, when they came out with a Spiderman movie in 2002, I couldn’t have been happier.  My brother (who is like my mini-me) and I have gone to see all 4 on opening night.  Next May won’t be any different either.

I found a website called zergnet.com a few weeks ago.  It is a pretty interesting and time sucking website for those who don’t feel like actually working at work.  It has a lot of these “Top 10 Sequels We Never Got to See” and “Top 10 Movie Flops of (pick a year)” or “100 Greatest Horror Movies Ever Made” (there’s about 10 different ones of this title).  It’s a pretty cool website though.

Since the preview the the summer blockbuster season is almost in full effect, I have seen a lot of articles on “What Sony has to do to maintain the Spiderman franchise.”

The last few days reading this, I have been completely baffled!  Sure, the original franchise sucked beyond belief and was a complete disappointment, but do we really need a “save the hero by doing (this) (this) and (this)” after ONE reboot movie?!?!

Yes, I absolutely hated the original installment.  I loved it at the time because I was excited they decided to put my favorite character on the big screen, but as I got older, I realized that these were horrible adaptations of what is a great hero.  They kept getting progressively worse and by the time they introduced my favorite villain, Venom, the whole series was ruined.  I HATED Toby Maguire as Peter Parker and thought the writing was horrendous.  It also lacked in a lot of fundamental flaws from the comic but I could have gotten past them if that was the only thing.  However, with endless CGI animation, many of these “flaws” could have been averted with the proper graphics.

The Amazing Spiderman was a fantastic and refreshing take on a failed original franchise.  It’s very dark in comparison, but it is much more relatable to a troubled kid who loses his parents and later his uncle.  There are big fundamental flaws in this as well, but the quality of writing, casting, costumes, and direction from Webb makes up for the lack of sticking to the story.  Much like Jarvis is a computer now in Iron Man instead of an ACTUAL butler, I suppose Mary Jane doesn’t NEED to be Peter’s love in this series of movies (and Kirsten Dunst did a great job of obliterating that roll).

The fact of the matter is, why can’t they bring Venom back into this series?  What makes us believe that this will be the same blunder of a franchise as the Maguire one was?  Were there clear signs in the 1st one to make us believe this?  I couldn’t see any.  It was as much of a quality movie as any of the other Marvel movies since Iron Man was released in 2008.

Marvel has done a fantastic job with the plethora of movies they have given us in the last 6 years and they don’t appear to be slowing down.

Now to get them all on the same production line (i.e. Fox owning X-Men), but that’s for another post.