The last few months have been kind of a roller coaster. Actually, all of 2013 has been a really weird chapter in my life. I can’t say it’s been good, but it hasn’t all been bad either.
In March I got a job to help a company move their machines from the city to the suburbs. My start date had to take a back seat to me falling off of a ladder and breaking my arm and face. This was suppose to be a maintenance job that was contracted until August. When I finally did start, I was thrown into the IT department and agreed to work both jobs 50/50. When my contract was up, the owner showed a lot of interest in keeping me full time. I have been on a month-to-month ever since. However, his enthusiasm has diminished some as I haven’t really done much maintenance work in the last 2 months. This is because I have been working on a $12k program that HE wants implemented ASAP. It’s taken a lot longer than he thought.
This morning, I received confirmation from the software consultant that we are at a place in the implementation process to begin going “live” for the people on the floor. This essentially means that my days very well could be numbered here because this project has been, really, the only thing keeping me employed for the last 2 months. After we go live, they could easily decided that the rest of the data can be uploaded themselves and they don’t need my help anymore.
This is a very condensed version of what has been going on the last 4.5 months (especially since August). The real story is much worse (yet very boring).
Now that you all are somewhat up to speed, I will begin my blog post.
I have been saying for about a month that I need to update my resume with all of the shit that I have done here. I no longer want to work in maintenance and have (essentially) built this entire IT network myself. I feel like I have put more work into this move as 99% of the people in this company. And the work that I have done has been good.
That last paragraph was incredibly hard to write.
So, I started putting bullet points together this afternoon of the things that I have done in IT since June. You’d think that creating a network with little help would give you a lot of points to talk about. I have 8.
That was also hard to write.
Why is it so hard to write a resume? Well, you have to talk about yourself in a very narcissistic type of way. And when you’ve never really heard many good things from other people about you, it’s even more intimidating to write good things about yourself.
I really can’t be unemployed for 4 months again. It sucks. And since my degree is still 6 credits away and I can’t start until Spring, I either hope A) they keep me here long term. I would hope they would give me more money but I don’t think that’s happening or B) I can find something in the next few weeks and can say “peace” to this place.
It’s not that I don’t like it here. It’s actually a halfway decent company to work for. I just don’t like the fact that no one can be straight with me.
The fact of the matter is, I spend a lot of my time telling people how good they are at something, but can’t come up with more than 8 bullet points for my own resume. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get another job. I hate that nothing is certain in this world too. My nervousness is hidden well but I am a wreck on the inside most of the time.
Anyways…. That’s a little off topic. I tend to do that. Maybe a different post in the future can be about my inner feelings and fears.
I’m sure everything will work out one way or another. It always does. Just don’t make me talk about myself for very long.